Violence To Women With Disabilities

Several days ago in one of local newspaper there was a story about a 16 years girl with Mental Disabled raped by her neighbour. It happened when she looked for firewood alone in a jungle near her house. Had injured in her genital she cried and told her mother. Then her family bring this case in legal action.

The perpetrator exploited this girl’s limitation to force her do what he wants. It is no need to happen if the girl brought up with adequate acknowledge so that she can defend herself not give up to his personal persuade.

This is just one of violence occurs and women with disabilities become victim, out there a lot of violence accepted by them. They often get unwell treatments because of their disabilities. Oftentimes women with disabilities have less access to resources, education, and other opportunities, it makes them more vulnerable to poverty, exploitation, and abuse.

Many women with disabilities use the term “impairment” to refer to their individual limitations. These limitations may include blindness, deafness, conditions that make it difficult or impossible to walk or to speak, conditions that make it harder to understand or learn, and conditions that can cause seizures. A woman with a disability may move, see, hear, or learn and understand differently from a woman without a disability. She may take care of the activities of daily living differently when she communicates, eats, bathes, dresses, gets up from lying down, and
Carries or feeds her baby. Adapting to her limitations is an ordinary part of her life (Maxwell and friends, A Health Handbook for Women with Disabilities).

Having disabilities mean that women can do everything as others, but they have other way to do a lot of thing. Seen as children and sick persons make them given less responsibility. It makes them get excluded from almost everything such as: social, cultural, economic, education, health care, participates in society and etc. Not because they can’t but more because they give no chance they need.

Burden of women with disabilities become more and more. Other than have disabilities they also women, that in society often deemed as second class, under men’s class. While gender equity is voiced over the worldwide they still being marginalized.

Islam Itu Indah Kok!

Beberapa hari yang lalu seorang rekan kerja saya becerita bahwa keponakannya yang berumur 6 tahun mengalami demam. Anak lahi-laki tersebut sakit karena ketakutan. Ceritanya sepulang sekolah anak tersebut dijemput oleh ibunya. Di tengah jalan mereka bertemu dengan serombongan reog. Dengan ketakutan si anak menanyakan pada ibunya apakah itu adalah Dajjal. Enggan menjelaskan lebih rinci si ibu hanya menjawab iya.
Belakangan jawaban itu justru berbuntut panjang. Si anak yang sangat ketakutan sampai di rumah mendadak gemetaran dan suhu badannya meninggi. Rupanya beberapa waktu lalu anak tersebut baru diberi pelajaran tentang hari kiamat oleh guru agamanya. Dengan menyeramkan si guru telah menjelaskan bahwa Dajjal akan muncul menjelang kiamat. Rupanya penjelasan itu terekam kuat dalam memori anak.
Ketika kecil saya juga tidak menyukai pelajaran agama saya. Bagi saya mengikuti pelajaran agama itu sama saja seperti menonton film horor. Bayangkan apa yang berada di benak bocah-bocah belia ketika mereka disodori kematian, siksa api neraka, azab ataupun kehancuran dunia di hari kiamat. Kita yang sudah dewasa saja seringkali ngeri mendengarnya.
Anak-anak itu seperti kertas putih, warna orang yang mendiidiknya bisa jadi warna yang melukisinya. Lalu kenapa harus dilukiskan agamanya lewat sisi-sisi yang buruk?
Islam bukan agama yang kejam, Islam juga tidak sama dengan terorisme dan kebencian. Kenapa bukan sisi keindahan Islam yang justru lebih diperkenalkan pada mereka? Karena justru sisi indah itulah yang banyak terkandung dalam Islam.
Bukankah lebih baik menjelaskan kebaikan-kebaikan yang didapat ketika kita berbuat baik dan saling menyayangi ketimbang berbusa-busa menerangkan azab yang menghampiri ketika kita berbuat jahat!
Bukankah lebih indah menjelaskan esensi dari setiap ibadah yang kita lakukan – sholat membuat hati tenang, berdisiplin dan membantu melancarkan peredaran darah ke otak; puasa membuat tubuh lebih sehat karena bisa membuang toksin dalam tubuh, membuat orang bisa mengendalikan hawa nafsu dan berempati pada mereka yang tidak berpunya, dsb – ketimbang mengancam dibakar dan disiksa di api neraka ketika meninggalkannya?
Ancaman dan siksa yang tertera dalam Al Qur’an bukan lagi dimaknai sebagai teror. Bahwa neraka ada sebagai konsekuensi dari adanya surga, bahwa hukuman selalu ada menyertai penghargaai. Karena dalam hidup selalu ada 2 sisi mata uang. Segala sesuatu bukan hanya bersisi baik saja.
Saya ingat dulu saya sangat menyukai pengajian yang diadakan setiap malam minggu di mushala dekat rumah. Meski kegiatan itu tidak berlangsung lama karena sebagian pengasuhnya masih kuliah di luar kota, namun kegiatan itu sangat terpatri dalam memori saya. Itu merupakan saat dimana saya mulai mencintai agama yang saya anut. Pengasuh yang rata-rata berusia muda itu bersikap ramah dan suka melucu, mereka kerapkali membawakan kajian yang membuat kami semua (yang rata-rata masih duduk di bangku SD) terbahak-bahak mendengarnya.
Jadi kenapa harus dibuat menyeramkan ketika semua bisa dijelaskan dengan cara yang lebih menyenangkan. Islam itu indah kok!

The Woman is For You, Don’t You Realize?

Don’t make me become the outsider, Hon!
You always do this to me
Being so closed whenever facing a problem
I do here for you
Erase your pain
And take away your sorrow
Remember that, Hon!
Always…

Confused

Heaven, should I listen into my heart?
Its path will not easy
The way is so hard, and it needs so much tears and patience…
I want to be just like others
Who get it easily
But somehow I believe that…
All the things get not easily would be something treasure, they are meaningful
I hope so…

That all I want deserve to be fighting for
Cause I am a fighter, right!
Ha ha ha, you know it better
We have deadly fight oftentimes, and we enjoy it all
Coz you are just like me
And we gonna be the champion
I hope so…

Mother Instinct

Last Saturday night I saw a good movie in one of Indonesian TV station. It titled Flight Plan, a movie released few years ago and played by an Oscar Actress Jodie Foster. This movie would be a good description how mother instinct take a role, how it lead a common woman become an incredible woman in order to protect her child.
The movie told a story about mother’s fighting against her daughter’s kidnappers. There is Kyle Pratt a woman who recent lost her husband in apparent fall. She and her six years old daughter named Julia did a transatlantic flight due to grave the husband’s body. Kyle and Julia were in the passengers area while the husband’s body was cased in a coffin took in the baggage area.
Tired and oppressed while through her husband death made Kyle consumed some medicine. This made her sleep several times after the plane take off. When she woke up she found her daughter nowhere. Then she helped by plan crews looked for the little girl in any place in the plane but she was not found.
The conflict increased when there is no evidence that the little girl is exist in the plane. The passengers’ document proved the little girl seat was empty and the plane crews give a confused witness, they did not really know weather the little girl was there or not.
Realized her daughter was lost Kyle got nervous. She made sure that her little girl was in the plane with her until several moments ago while she was sleeping. Then she tried anything to find her daughter and prove everyone in the plane that she is on board but it was not worked because she stooped by The Air Marshal. Moreover people became hate her because she disturbed others by screw up the plane panel control that made the passengers in panic.
In other side Captain of the plane got information that the little girl was with the husband when he fall. Captain told the mother that her daughter was dead but she did not believe it. So that the impatient Captain asked for the Air Marshal kept watch her during the flight.
Facing all nonsupport evidences the mother tried herself to save her daughter. Moreover she had confronted to all people in the plane. Being handcuffed, hit by some men and suspected crazy she had to fight herself face the little girl’s kidnappers –who were also an organized skyjackers– with no one believe in her.
At the end of the story the mother save her daughter after born down inscrutable perpetrators who kidnapped the little girl due to apply their illegally action. The mother carries her little girl out of the plane proudly and made people used to hate her become overawed to her, include the Captain and the plane crews. People should take a high respect on her after some awesome and intelligent acts she performed due to save her daughter.
As an aphorism ‘even beasts would never eat their children’, we know exactly every women blessed by mother instinct. It is a basic instinct blessed by God in order to take care of the children. Not only women every female animals also blessed by this instinct. It is a strong power and will that possibly they do some wonderful act in order to cover their children. Like Kyle Pratt, bravely she fights so many people in the plane only to save her daughter.
Unlucky that awesome thing just happen in the fiction, but it doesn’t same thing happen in reality. While women blessed with mother instinct to cover their children some of them even do the opposite. LKTS noted there were 12 cases of children murdered and neglected in Central Java area during October - December 2008. All the cases parents -mothers and fathers of the children, mostly of them were mothers- were suspected perpetrators background in unwanted pregnancy reason.
In some cases mothers killed their babies that just born and throw away the dead bodies. It done in order to cover their disgrace known, having a baby outside the wedlock. Some of them also did this because their partner won’t take any responsible for their pregnancies.
Social pressure make this thing happens. Indonesian society still not approve the baby born outside the wedlock, it is a big disgrace especially for women. While there are a big number of free sex behavior done by Indonesian teenagers. Perform sexual activities without an equal knowledge and responsible make the unwanted pregnancy often occurs. Otherwise having a baby without any husband would be an unacceptable thing in society.
By this causal relationship, the mother who neglect and murder her baby is a perpetrator but also a victim. As a perpetrator because she cuts her baby’s chance to life, but also a victim because of the social pressure that bend her to take this decision.
But for me, being a mother is still a blessing. So that, choice to be a mother should be done by a blessing condition – of curse in wedlock – not just to fulfill the society and religion need but also to fulfill the baby need. A healthy baby (not just in physically but also physiologically) can be achieved by a healthy surrounding. Being a mother is also a big commitment, take a big responsible to take care a little human who is over a barrel and completely depended on us. That would make the mother instinct take a role.
(Picture is taken from arnonop.wordpress.com)

Happy Mother's Day Our Beloved Mom

Happy mother's day our beloved Ibu Sri Sumarni Maryono
Thanks for your care to us, for years
For make us stronger with your own way, it’s a unique way, you’re the one who have it
For your angers, we know those aimed to our kindness
For your warm hugs when we need it, when we sad and ask for a support
For your drudge work so that we can fulfill our necessity (Oh, you really really inspired me how to become a career woman without override your responsibility to your family)
For your delicious foods that you serve to us everyday, it makes us homesick whenever we’re in other town due to finish our studies
For the entire thing you give to us, I can’t even mention it
We love you Mom
You’re will always be our beloved

Next month you’ll undergo your retired time
It’s time for you to take a rest from your daily work activities, let us continue your buffetings
Hey don’t be confused Mom, there’s a lot of thing to do
You may continue your hobbies, ha ha I know that gardening can make you affiliate with our beloved Dad (I know you’re love each other, your marriage life is the great one but both of you always exchange words, even it ends with a lot of smile and laughs)
We love you both, Mom and Dad

Mom, please bless us, Mom’s pray will always heard by Allah SWT
So that we become your pride son and daughter
We promise you to give your avidities as son as possible

Your lovely Son & Daughter: Lilik & Ida Puji

Love you too our beloved Dad: Bapak Maryono

Happy mother's day to all mothers, you're amazing women

Melepas Belenggu Diskriminasi Difabel

BAGI awam, peringatan Hari Difabel Internasional pada 3 Desember masih belum begitu familier dibandingkan dengan peringatan hari-hari yang lain. Ketidakfamilieran itu dapat dimaknai sebagai representasi kurangnya kepedulian terhadap para difabel.

Beberapa tahun belakangan, para aktivis gerakan penyandang cacat memperkenalkan istilah difabel sebagai ganti penyandang cacat yang secara kontekstual bersifat diskriminatif itu. Istilah difabel yang diperkenalkan pada 1998 merupakan singkatan dari frasa dalam Bahasa Inggris different ability people. Istilah difabel lebih mengacu kepada pembedaan kemampuan, bukan lagi kepada kecacatan atau ketidaksempurnaan.

Pada umumnya, kami para difabel mampu melakukan aktivitas seperti orang lain, hanya dengan cara yang berbeda. Namun begitu, meski telah diperkenalkan, penyebutan baru bagi kaum difabel yang diskriminatif itu masih melekat erat pada kaum minoritas tersebut.

Tampaknya, penggantian istilah penyandang cacat menjadi difabel masih terbatas di permukaan saja. Belum bisa menyentuh sampai pada kondisi real kaum difabel. Menyandang sebutan difabel, belum juga membuat kami bisa sepenuhnya diakui sebagai bagian dari masyarakat.

Terpinggirkan

Berdasarkan laporan Duta Besar (Dubes) Amerika Serikat (AS) 1998 yang didasarkan pada data Departemen Sosial (Depsos), terdapat enam juta orang atau sekitar 3% difabel dari 200 juta penduduk Indonesia (pada saat itu). Sementara itu menurut asumsi data dari PBB, terdapat sekitar 10 juta difabel di Indonesia (Thohari, 2008)

Data yang diperoleh itu belum sepenuhnya valid, mengingat masih banyak keberadaan difabel yang disembunyikan oleh keluarga karena masih dianggap aib. Kuantitas data tersebut masih perlu direvisi dengan mempertimbangkan keadaan Indonesia sepuluh tahun belakangan ini, yang dipenuhi berbagai bencana.

Bencana yang terjadi telah membuat jumlah difabel bertambah. Bencana tsunami Aceh 2005, gempa di Yogyakarta 2006, dan sederet bencana lain yang menimpa seluruh pelosok Nusantara, membuat jumlah difabel bertambah banyak.

Dengan angka keberadaan yang cukup besar itu, ternyata perhatian pemerintah dan masyarakat terhadap difabel masih sangat minim, meskipun saat ini pemerintah telah mengeluarkan sejumlah landasan hukum bagi kaum difabel.

Sebutlah beberapa di antaranya Undang-Undang (UU) 4/1997 tentang Penyandang Cacat; Peraturan Pemerintah (PP) 43/1998 tentang Upaya Peningkatan Kesejahteraan Sosial Penyandang Cacat; Keputusan Menteri Pekerjaan Umum (Kepmen PU) Nomor 468/KPTS/1998 tentang Persyaratan Teknis Aksesibilitas pada Bangunan Umum dan Lingkungan (Thohari, 2008).

Pada kenyataannya, implementasi produk hukum yang melindungi difabel dalam masyarakat masih amat mengecewakan. Perlakuan diskriminatif masih terus terjadi pada hampir semua bidang, seperti pendidikan, pekerjaan, kesehatan, juga kemudahan dalam mengakses bangunan umum dan lingkungan.

Pengalaman Pribadi

Sebagai seorang difabel, saya masih harus mengalami beberapa perlakuan diskriminatif. Saya masih beruntung; sebab dalam hal pendidikan, tidak dalam kondisi diskriminatif.

Keterbatasan yang saya miliki, masih memungkinkan untuk melaksanakan pendidikan umum. Saya masih bisa mengakses pendidikan umum di beberapa tingkat dengan dispensasi pada kegiatan fisik.

Saya bisa menyebutnya beruntung, karena ada jauh lebih banyak difabel yang tidak bisa mengakses pendidikan secara optimal.

Hal itu disebabkan oleh karena kondisi tiap difabel berbeda-beda, bergantung kepada keterbatasan yang dimiliki, sementara pola pendidikan yang ada cenderung bersifat generalalisasi. Kondisi itu menyebabkan lebih banyak pendidikan yang tidak bisa diterapkan secara optimal kepada difabel.

Dalam dunia kerja, barulah perlakuan diskriminatif itu saya temui. Kurangnya tingkat kepercayaan atau dont trust dari pihak pemberi kerja sempat membuat langkah saya untuk mandiri secara ekonomi tersendat. Secara umum, kondisi itu dihadapi oleh difabel yang berusaha untuk mengakses pekerjaan di lingkungan masyarakat umum.

Kurangnya trust itu pula yang menjadi salah satu faktor difabel lebih banyak bekerja pada sektor informal dibandingkan dengan sektor formal. Dengan diperparah oleh bekal pendidikan dan modal yang tidak mencukupi, mereka hidup dalam garis kemiskinan.

Padahal, penenempatan pekerjaan yang sesuai dengan kemampuannya, membuat difabel dapat bekerja sebaik orang lain, bahkan mungkin bisa lebih baik lagi.

Namun, pintu tersebut tertutup rapat ketika kesempatan memperoleh pekerjaan tidak dimiliki akibat kurangnya trust dari pihak pemberi kerja, sementara itu perlindungan pemerintah juga masih sangat minim. Walaupun sebenarnya dalam UU 4/1997 sudah ada aturan kesempatan kerja difabel melalui kuota 1%, namun pelaksanaannya masih jauh dari harapan.

Diskriminasi lain adalah kesulitan yang harus dihadapi kaum difabel dalam mengakses fasilitas umum, seperti gedung sekolah, perkantoran, dan pusat perbelanjaan. Keberadaan fasilitas pendukung seperti lift dan ramp bagi pemakai kursi roda serta guilding block bagi penyandang tunanetra, masih sangat minim.

Berdasarkan survei yang dilakukan terhadap 35 gedung milik publik, ditemukan hanya 0,3 persen yang memberikan akses untuk dapat dinikmati bagi orang-orang difabel (Soldier, edisi ke-2, 2005). Tentu saja angka itu sangat tidak sebanding dengan jumlah difabel yang ada saat ini.

Memperingati Hari Difabel Internasional tahun ini, selayaknya kita semua menyadari bahwa kondisi kaum difabel di Indonesia masih jauh dari harapan. Hal itu terlihat dari banyaknya kaum difabel yang masih belum sepenuhnya memperoleh haknya.

Perlu dikembangkan peran serta masyarakat untuk menghapus stereotype difabel merupakan beban. Tak lepas, upaya itu bisa berhasil baik jika ada dukungan penuh dari pemerintah dengan menegakkan kembali sederet landasan hukum yang selama ini masih mandul.

Langkah kita masih panjang untuk memperoleh kesetaraan di segala bidang bagi kaum difabel; dan itu semua hanya bisa diraih dengan kerja sama dari segenap pihak.(68)

Published in Suara Merdeka Selasa 02 Desember 2008